High School Chronicles #1 - A Hitchhiker's Guide to Empathy

 At the end of Mean Girls, Cady realizes that we are all not as different as we originally believed---everyone is just trying their best in a chaotic world. The closing scene of that movie has played in my head ever since I saw it in 10th grade and has become one of my personal mantras.

This idea is the root of empathy. Guys, empathy is a superpower!! It's rarer than you might think and more draining than you might have believed---but it's also rewarding (I hope).

People are ubiquitous in our life. We are social creatures; we require people beyond just emotional fulfillment but for survival as well. Yet different people engage with others differently. On my last day of high school, some people chose to put in earphones and watch a movie during class whereas others played music and socialized with their friends for the last time. But both are valid. We are all different, yet we are all significant.

The way I view people has always been my greatest strength and weakness. An instagram reel put it best: I can never hold a grudge because I see the jealousy behind the anger and the loss behind the apathy; I believe every person is going through their own journey and their own struggles that result in their outward behaviors.

There's two aspects of empathy I'd like to cover in this post based on what I've learned so far.

How to empathy

1. Realize that everyone's going through something. You really can't ever tell from surface-level interactions. This is the basic fact of empathy; everything else stems off from this.
2. Practice this understanding by genuinely treating people with respect.
3. Listen to listen rather than listening to respond. Whenever I'm in conversations with people, I try to understand them rather than voicing my own opinion first.
4. Humbling is important. It's important to remember that we are all part of something much bigger, and every person has a strength to lend.

How not to over-empathy

1. It's okay to empathize without becoming overwhelmed with emotions. It's alright to recognize what someone is going through without feeling hurt and distraught every time yourself.
2. In spare time, it's sometimes better to think about ideas rather than people. Empathetic brains might overanalyze interactions with people, but that can be draining on the mind. Instead, think about something new we learned that day or an event coming up.
3. Also remember that our own struggles are significant. When we over-empathize, we see others' struggles just as important or more important than our own. We always come first.
4. Try not to distribute empathy so freely. Concentrate it among close friends and family to avoid exhaustion.
5. Empathy can be used positively, too---and I think that's the best part. Feel genuine pride and happiness with others' successes and accomplishments---that will fill us up more.

It seems simple in bulleted lists but the emotions and interactions can often be quite a bit more complex, and there's lots of ideas I didn't cover. Empathy allows us to connect with people from any background, recognize every person's strength, and value every person's presence. I'm glad it's being discussed more as more people recognize how empathetic people need to work on taking care of themselves, too. I hope more people can come to realize the power of empathy in its many forms.